Happy New Year! I can’t believe it’s 2020, which means Olive is turning one in just a few short months. Ugh. How is that possible? It’s been quite some time since I gave ya’ll a life update and I like to write these posts every once and awhile, so you can get a good sense of what I’ve been up to. And to put it simply, a LOT has been going on these past few months. It’s been a roller coaster of ups and downs, and all I can think of, is the saying “When we make plans, God laughs.” Because it’s so true.
Career & Home Life
It’s no secret to my close friends and family that I’d been looking for a new job opportunity for awhile. It wasn’t that I didn’t like my current job at the time (I actually loved my job and the company), it was just that I was there for almost eight years. I felt like I was at a standstill, and I was in need of a new experience. My craving to do something different was even more heightened after I returned to work from maternity leave (check out my post for advice on going back to work after baby). I felt like I had changed SO much as a person, but nothing in my professional life had reflected that. I was different, but my work was still the same. Things that mattered to me before, didn’t matter to me at all and I realized that’s partly because my priorities had shifted. I had a new vision of what success looked like, and a piece of that involved being a good mom.
I love Olive more than anything, but I also really enjoy my work. I’ve been a Marketing Project Manager for almost a decade now, and I know it’s a role that I excel at, plus I get major fulfillment from being able to contribute to every day business decisions. Being able to go into work every day and get excited about what I’m putting out into the world, is SO important to me. If I’m going to be spending all of this time away from my family every single day, I sure as hell better be doing something I love. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think “am I doing the right thing?” “is this selfish of me?” “should I be at home instead?” It’s a vicious, never ending cycle that we put ourselves through as moms, no matter if you are a working mom or not. I love being able to contribute to our family’s financial well-being, but the trade-off is that my time is limited with Olive. There isn’t ever going to be a perfect balance, so you have to do what feels right in that season of your life and make peace with that. YOU owe that to yourself. Who knows what the next season looks like, so just enjoy the now.
Photo by Nicodem Creative
Career & Home Life Continued
Now, back to my job search. Earlier in the spring, I was contacted by a brand to come work on their marketing team. I was so excited for this potential opportunity – I felt like it was finally my time to shine after putting things on hold for a little while. I had just had Olive and I was ready for the change. Sadly, after lots of back and forth, I didn’t get the position. Ugh. I felt like a failure to myself… that I had proved everyone else right by not being able to take that next step in my career AND be a good mom at the same time. Just a few months later, that same brand contacted me about another opportunity, but it didn’t work out…again.
Since my career wasn’t going according to plan, Andrew and I decided to start looking into buying a house in the suburbs (this seems extreme, but it wasn’t). My current job had allowed flexibility/working from home, so we thought if I’d be there for the foreseeable future, then why not look for our next real estate move. You guys won’t believe this, but while this was all happening, that same brand contacted me for a THIRD time with another available position. They clearly thought there was a good fit, but they were trying to find the right position for me. Sure, why not try again…what did I have to lose? A few weeks had passed and I was extremely bummed to find out I didn’t get the job, yet again. It was almost comical at this point that I had now tried three times to work at the same company and been denied all three times. Deep down, I really felt like I belonged there, so why did this keep happening? But, I respected their decision and I kindly wished them best of luck.
Another few weeks passed, I received a call from the company that they’d regretted their decision and would love to have me on their team. Of course, I said yes and now I’m a few months into my new role, and although it’s a very challenging job, I owe it to myself to take this next leap and see where it takes me! Needless to say, we won’t be moving to the suburbs quite yet, but it will probably happen some time this year. Anyone have any good recommendations on suburbs close to the city? Commuter life sounds pretty awful – ha!
At the end of the day, Olive has really helped me put it all into perspective, I don’t get stressed out nearly as much as I used to because I’m lucky enough to have my health and my family. The rest can be figured out with a few timeline adjustments and revised budgets. 🙂
Olive
Can you guys believe Olive is already 9.5 months old?? The past nine months have been such a blur!! She really is the best baby though, always smiling and laughing. The thing I love most about Olive is that she lets Andrew and I get a good nights sleep – ha. I’m sure that will change eventually, but for now, I appreciate her very much. I want to bottle up her happiness and carry it everywhere I go!
If you’ve been following along with us on Instagram, you’ve probably noticed by now that she has a pretty large hemangioma on her stomach. An “angel kiss” as I like to call it. She also has a smaller “stork bite” on her left eyelid, which for the longest time we thought was a bug bite – ha, but I love these little imperfections! I couldn’t imagine her any differently. A couple of months ago, I found a small lump on her upper back/lower neck area. I was giving her a bath like normal, but as I was washing her, I felt my hand go over something raised. It felt like a very small, perfect ball in her back – and it came out of nowhere. It didn’t seem to bother her, but I called my doctor to discuss, and they brought us in the next morning to get it checked out.
As a mom, this is terrifying. Out of nowhere, you find this lump (a “mass” as the doctor calls it) on your child’s back, and your doctor is telling you to come in ASAP, so naturally your mind goes to very bad places. Not to mention, this lump on her back was growing fast. It got bigger and more bruised-like, which didn’t help put us at ease. An ultrasound and a trip to Lurie Children’s Hospital helped determine that the lump was most likely another hemangioma and nothing to be overly concerned about, however, we do have the option to get it surgically removed (for cosmetic reasons and for ease of mind). For now, we’re keeping an eye on it to ensure it doesn’t grow or get infected, and we’ll check in with our dermatologist in a month or so. In the meantime, she is still the happiest baby of them all!
Photo by Nicodem Creative
New Years Resolutions
I haven’t given these too much thought this year. I know I want to read more, be more conscious of my purchases, further explore my passion for cooking (another thing that I get fulfillment from), and continue being creative on this platform! Of course, I want to be the healthiest version of me, but I’ve never been one to count calories and all that jazz (never owned a scale and never will), so I’ll probably just continue to do what works best for me…an occasional tub of ice cream and Shred415.
Happy New Year!
-Lauren
