When a reader asked us if we’d write about ‘how we knew we were ready to have a baby,’ we were instantly intrigued. Who said we knew we were ready?? Neither one of us ever had an “ah-ha” moment where all of a sudden a flip switched and we felt prepared to have kids. Does anyone really have that moment (if you did, please leave us a comment below!)? Having a baby is scary because it’s unknown territory, but just like everything else in life, you figure it out as you go. And we’ll both agree that if you’re waiting for ‘the right moment’ to start ‘trying,’ you’ll never have kids.
Griffin & Olive
Tips for Preparing for Parenthood
Tip #1: Don’t Wait for The Perfect Moment
There is always going to be something that you can use as an excuse to not have a baby. Work is too busy, you have a wedding or another social event coming up (and don’t want to be pregnant), you’re going on a trip, you’re moving, you feel like you ‘have time,’ or maybe you feel like you don’t have ENOUGH time. Here’s the thing….during all of these moments, life is happening. Time is still passing by and you don’t actually know how long it will take for you to conceive a child. Laura was blessed to get pregnant immediately while it took Lauren almost ten months (read about it here). It takes some people years to get pregnant. If you and your partner know you want to be parents, and are committed to that, then ask yourselves what’s really stopping you from starting the process? There will always be something that can discourage you, but if being a parent is a priority, it should BE a priority.
Tip #2: It’s Okay to Be Scared
Listen up ladies! It’s okay to be scared. When Lauren and Andrew started trying, they knew they wanted to expand their family, but they were still scared to do it! They were afraid to find out if something prevented them from getting pregnant, but also afraid to actually get pregnant! Because, then what?! You start to ask yourselves all these questions about what life will be like with a baby, and try to figure out all the logistics of every day life/finances, so it can be really overwhelming. But like we said earlier, you figure it out as you go. Try to enjoy the process and let go of the “what if” scenarios going through your head.
Garin and Laura made sure to talk about what they were going to do if they couldn’t conceive. No, it’s never easy to talk about it, but going into it with some sort of outcome in mind is always smart. We made the decision that if we couldn’t conceive, we wouldn’t definitely adopt. So in the end, we knew we could have a child one way or another. There’s always hope, even if it’s not the way you always planned.
Tip #3: Save Up for Baby’s 1st Year of Life
This is the one concrete piece of advice we can give. Put aside some extra cash for your future little babe. Depending on your insurance scenario and how long it takes you to conceive, you could be spending quite a bit of money. We highly recommend taking advantage of your company’s FSA benefits if they offer it! Once baby is here, you’ll be spending lots of time at doctor’s appointments and buying things you didn’t realize you needed before baby was here.
Also, it doesn’t hurt to start a college account for your child. Laura and Garin set up 2 accounts not long after they were married “just in case.” It definitely will put your mind at ease once the time comes for them to go to college-crazy right? Talk to a financial planner to learn how to set up an account today!
Tip #4: Take Control of Your Health
While we believe you should always take care of your body and soul, this is truly the time you should stick with it. Stay active and eat a balanced diet before you start trying. Feel good about yourself! It will only help to make things easier on you and baby. Be sure to talk to your doctor first, but if you exercise frequently before baby, they don’t want to see you stop during pregnancy. Quitting something your body is used to while pregnant can actually do you harm. Laura worked out everyday before baby, and during pregnancy. She truly believe that because of it, she was able to have an unbelievable pregnancy, and a fairly easy delivery. She felt strong, as every mama should!! She actually went into full on contractions at the gym doing air squats. Eeek! Read the full store here.
Tips for Preparing for Pregnancy:
Now, when it comes time that you’ve decided you’re ready to start ‘trying,’ here are some helpful apps and things you can do to prepare your body.
- Doctors recommend getting off the pill 3 months before you’d like to start trying to conceive. Assuming it will take time for the pill hormones to release from your body. But don’t bank on that! You can get pregnant soon after in some cases. Laura was pregnant within 2 months of getting off the pill.
- Lauren didn’t start taking taking pre-natal vitamins until she found out she was pregnant and highly recommends the Honest Co. brand. You have to buy both the Once Daily pill + the DHA pill. While Laura on the other hand took the “Women’s One A Day” multivitamin before pregnancy. Make sure it has at least 400mg of Folic Acid though. That’s the key! Once she found out she was pregnant, she switched to the Pre-Natal version.
- Lauren used the Ovia Fertility app when she was trying to get pregnant, and then switched to The Bump once she was pregnant.
- Lauren also used Ovulation strips after trying on they’re own for a few months and no success. These are great!! They’ll let you know exactly when you should ‘try.’ 🙂
- Not only should you prepare for pregnancy, but you’ll also need to prepare yourself for the next three-six months afterwards. Your body will have gone through a massive trama (read about Lauren’s labor story here) and you’ll be living on little to no sleep with a newborn to take care of. No one talks about how hard being a new mom really is, so be kind to yourself and recognize when you need help – it’s okay! If you’re interested in reading more about Laura’s body at after baby, click here.
- Relax. Most likely it won’t happen after the first shot, so don’t freak out. Worrying and stressing yourself out WILL NOT HELP. We repeat, this will make the process harder for you and your spouse, and it will take the fun out of it. Yes, this should be fun!
- Get a full physical done, as well as a pap smear and breast check. It’s best to know everything is all good with your health before diving in. You don’t want any surprises, and it’s nice to know you’re starting with a clean and healthy slate.
Now go and have sex already! We’re only slightly kidding. If you’re reading this, we hope you feel a little more ‘ready’ now. We promise you, if you decide to have kids, it will be one of the best experience of your life. We were blessed with 2 angels and we can’t imagine life without them. If you have more questions, or want to chat more about both of our experiences, PLEASE reach out! We are here to talk or listen 🙂
xoxo,
Laura & Lauren